Earth Mother Self Heal

Spiritual Awakening Empowered Living

Steps to heal your relationships with self and others

                                                       The Good, Bad and the Ugly of relationships.

If you find yourself in the same type of relationship time after time, you might enjoy this little exercise.
Take three sheets of paper, at the top of the first write Good.  At the top of the second sheet write Bad.  At the top of the third sheet write Ugly.
With your candles lit and soft healing music playing in the background you are ready to look at and learn from your last relationship.   You can also do this exercise for each relationship you have been in, including the one with your parents.

Take a few deep breaths and sit with the first sheet of paper titled Good.  Allow your mind to go over all the wonderful and positive aspects of the relationship.  Write down what attracted you to that person, all the great feelings you had.  Name everything you can remember that was really good about that person, yourself and the relationship.  Take you time. 

Now take the second sheet of paper with Bad at the top and remember and write down all the hurtful, negative, painful aspects of the relationship.  You might be very specific and write down situations one at the time that happened, or just general aspects.

Give yourself several days to complete these two lists.  Be honest about yourself and your partner in the relationship.  This isn’t an exercise to blame or judge or name call.  This is an opportunity for you to really dig into the mechanics of your relationship.

When you feel ready to move onto the third page titled Ugly begin to list your regrets.  Keeping in mind the other two lists as you remember and write, record things you wish you had done, said, not done or said on this list.
Take your time making this list, as it is the most insightful of the three.  When you have listed your regrets move on to the last stage of this exercise.

Take a beautiful piece of stationary and at the top write “My Relationship With Love”.
Begin your day by reading to yourself this statement, “I will only speak to myself with love, confidence and respect.”
Having made the three lists you are ready now to discover what it is you are really seeking in a relationship with others.  Note the areas which repeat themselves over and over in your past relationships.
If you discover you seek acceptance, then write this down and covenant with yourself to accept you.
If you seek unconditional love, then vow to love yourself in this manner.
Continue working on this sheet of paper until you find yourself thinking differently about relationships and about your part in them.  Stand before a mirror several times a day and tell yourself “I love you”.

I read many years ago that relationships suffer due to two broken people coming together expecting the relationship to make them whole.  This never works.  We must first be whole, then we will attract others who are whole and together we will bless and encourage each other for further growth.

Love yourself well,
Donna DeVane

If you are interested in the Selfheal lessons click here.

Are you Ready for love in your life?

Feng Shui Tips for  Love

             Feng Shui for love

Are you ready for love in your life?  Have you made space in your life for a loving relationship?  Most of us carry baggage from one relationship to another and it's important that we clean out the energy of our last relationship before beginning a new one.  To clear the energy of past relationships make sure that you have gone through your home and let go of all reminders of negative energy.  Items and keepsakes from past relationships are sometimes filled with dense energy and need to be cleansed by running water over them, sitting them in the sun, or even more important, thrown away or gifted to Good Will.
Pictures, video, clothing, are all items to look through and see if there is energy clinging to them which would carry into a new relationship.

A good way to clear energy from yourself is to write down what you have learned about you from past relationships.  Be honest about you and your lessons.  Our past relationships are great teachers about our true nature, needs and desires.

Smudging is a wonderful way to clear your aura.  If you have sage or sweetgrass, or herbs in a shell use these and move from the feet to the top of your head, letting the smoke clear and cleanse, bringing balance and joy.
If you donít have smudging material incense will do as well.

Shower with intention; as you enter the shower state outloud that you are releasing the worry, fear, anger, uncertainty of the past and moving into the present moment.  You are allowing the water to wash and cleanse you and bring you into a state of bliss and openness for love and relationships.

Take a look at your wardrobe, do you need to jazz it up a bit so you will feel your best?  If so invest in a few outfits that you really feel wonderful in.  This isnít about fads or styles; itís about how you feel in the clothing.  Get a new hairstyle, do your nails, color your hair.  You might even want to throw out your nightgowns and get some special new ones that represent how you feel about yourself and love in your life.

How you feel about yourself and your ability to love and be loved should be reflected in your dress and manner.

Now letís take a look at the bedroom.  Is there a nightstand on each side of the bed?  A table on each side?  Do things in your bedroom in pairs.  Two of each item.  Make the bed inviting to your senses.  If you love big plump pillows to recline on at night make sure they are pretty, that they are comfortable and inviting.  Adding flowers and plants to the room invites positive energy.  Place Rose Quartz, Red Jasper stones or garnets on either side of the bed.  A small fountain with these gemstones is a wonderful way to add the flowing energy of love into your space.

Remember, making a space in your life for love invites love to come into that space.  Clearing out the old energy by lighting candles, incense, placement of flowers fills the space with invitation.

Donna DeVane
Manyfeather  2006

Feng Shui for love healing balance